The BIG 'C'

So here it is...in January I went in to the dermatologist and had some moles removed. With it being January I of course had on pants and didn't notice any of the moles on my legs. There was one mole on my side and under my arm that I wanted off and the doctor took the wrong one off and then told me that the one that I was wanting off was too big and that it need to be done in a surgical setting. No worries, I just needed to come in at a later date and have it taken care of. A few weeks later I noticed a mole that had changed on the back of my right calve. I didn't worry too much about it but realized that I would have to have it looked at when I had that other one taken off. I ended up back in the dermatology office on July 7th. After seeing the mole on my leg he said that he was worried about that one and that it needed to be taken off. Got them both removed and made an appointment to have the stitches taken out and went on my way. A week later the doctor calls and says that the mole on my leg has atypical results and wanted my permission to send it onto another lab for a second opinion. The other mole was fine. My follow up appointment was set for 2 weeks out. The day before the appointment the doctor called and left 2 messages on the phone asking me call him right away. We had gotten home from a trip pretty late and before I had a chance to call him in the morning he called and ask me to come in and made sure that I was bring Kris. When a doctor says "bring your husband" you know that it isn't good. We went in and the results of the biopsy are that I have stage 2 melanoma. A little info on melanoma...they measure the thickness of it, how deep it goes into your skin. Most of the mole was .88 mm, if the measurement is under 1 mm they considerate taken care of and you are good to go. However there is a extension of cells that reaches to 1.1 mm. So that extra .1 puts into the stage 2 category. We got lots of details and met with a surgeon the same day. We are following the standard procedure for stage 2 melanoma. I am scheduled to have a wide biopsy of the area on Monday morning. They will also inject some type of dye around the area and wait a bit for it to travel up to the lymph nodes, then take x-rays of it so that they know what lymphnodes to biopsy. Because the area of the wide biopsy is a few inches and too big to close with stitches they are doing a skin graft. I hear that is the most painful part. We will get the results from everything a couple days later.

Now for my feelings. Wednesday when I found out the news I was a bit shocked...really it is the worst news of my life to this point. I have a positive outlook and I am holding onto the fact that it is just .1 mm from being considered a stage 1. I will try to update the blog after surgery when I feel like I can function. Who knows maybe Kris will do it. Don't be too worried if it is a couple of days until this is updated. Please feel free to call. My parents are coming in to take care of things, be with me, and help out with the kids. Boy am I ever great full for that. We are also trying to get my brother home from Iraq. We have an appointment with an oncologist on Thursday. Maybe I will plan on updating after that.

Kris freaked out for awhile and is doing much better now.

We told the kids....we sat them down and asked them if they knew what cancer was. They said no, so I explained that we have good cells in our bodies and cancer is bad cells. When I had my mole removed they did some test on it and found that there were bad cells in it. Then explained that I am going to go and have surgery so that the doctors can take more out and make sure that they got all of those bad cells out. They understand that I will be 'lazy' laying around the couch and that there are people coming to help take care of them. Elaine at one point asked if I had to have surgery so that I didn't die. I told her that we didn't need to think about that right now, the doctors are doing what they can to help me.

We have a sense of humor about it. At the same are still worried a bit, and being positive all at the same time.

I tried to remember all the details about that day. There are a few things that are frozen in my mind, the elevator button on the wall as we went up stairs to the clinic. The fabric pattern on the chairs in the waiting room. Odd details. Yet it seems that some of the important things I forgot. This is the same clinic that I take my kids to, that I go see the OB/GYN at, that I see the family doctor at. I waiting to go back again and see all the the odd details in my mind and I am hoping that I don't have these odd flashbacks triggered by elevator buttons and pretty patterns of fabric on chairs.

Again call if you want to talk, we appreciate all the thoughts and prayers.

*Update....it is a stage 2A, for all of those that have looked info up.

*****NEW UPDATE******* Cancer was a 1B. What great news!!!! Derm guy din't know what he was talking about!